The Temple Means Nothing

I've begun a season of doing my "daily devotions" differently in many ways.  One of those ways is doing my Bible study in a much slower manner.  Gone are the days of trying to somehow fit three or more chapters into my day.  I was essentially Bible speed reading.  It's what we commonly engage in as Christians.  We're busy.  We have lives.  We have commitments.  We have things to get done.  Right?

These days I'm taking a more "study" approach to my Bible study.  I'm focusing one chapter at a time of one book at a time.  The trouble is always where to begin so, Ummim and Thummim style, I put the books of the Bible on little bits of paper and drew one blind out of the bunch leaving it up to the LORD.  I have to admit when I drew I Kings I was less than enthused.  Why?  Because Numbers was a breeze, Leviticus gave me a sense of accomplishment having read every "begat" and such, but the Kings and Chronicles?  That was a hard slog.  Basically it's reading the same dry commentary twice and it was so hard to get through with no real sense of accomplishment at the end.  It felt like I was being finally let out of detention.  I was tempted, sorely tempted, to draw again but I submitted...and as a result I have been quite blessed.

There is a lot of good stuff to be had so far.  I've gone full Bible Nerd on my wife geeking out about what Abishag means to the story of David's end, how Solomon got elements for the temple from as far away as India, etc.  But the biggest mind crack so far was this...

The Temple Means Nothing.

We are all familiar with the wisdom of Solomon, how he prayed as a young man not for riches or fame but for wisdom, how he was blessed with peace on all sides, and ushered Israel into the Golden Age (literally...this guy put so much gold on everything that I couldn't help but think of Pre-President Trump's pictures of his apartment) where silver was so plentiful it was regarded the same as stones in worth.  As God promised David, his son would be allowed to build a temple to "house" the name of the Lord.

Solomon begins the project and the Lord appears to him and says "Regarding this temple you are building..." and then speaks not on the Temple but about Solomon.  The LORD tells him the deal is still the same as with his father; you follow the commandments, don't chase after other gods, you walk in my ways and do the right thing and I will bless you.

There's a lot of impressive words about how much goes into the temple, how ornate and glorious it is, etc and then Solomon completes construction of the temple, dedicates it, blesses the people, and the Lord appears a second time.  The Lord addresses the occasion, says that as He promised His name will live there for all time, but then it's back to the "But IF..."  And it's at this point I realize something that hopefully will change me forever.  The temple means nothing to God.

He even tells Solomon that if he doesn't walk after Him, if he turns to other gods and doesn't walk in His paths then He has no problem pulling that temple down stone by stone till it's rubble, a proverb, a byword that makes other nations marvel and say, "This is what happened when the people of Israel rejected their God."

By many accounts the Temple was one of the single most expensive projects ever conceived and constructed.  It was a feat of engineering, fine craftsmanship; just getting the supplies from place to place had to have been an undertaking of massive proportions.  One would think that God would have been impressed or at least flattered, but no.  Every step along the way from Adam to now the refrain has been essentially the same.

"I want your heart."

What kind of god is that?  It is one far different from any one that has ever been recorded.  He doesn't care about the gold, the ivory, the silver, the massive scale, and even when we get to the end of Solomon's life God still wasn't impressed with the Temple.  It still meant nothing to Him.

Near the end of Solomon's days he has clearly screwed up.  His love for his wives turned his heart from god.  He even sets up a high place to Molech...freaking Molech...the one who demanded babies as sacrifices.  Yeah.  Well, I guess whatever you have to do to get that sweet Ammonite booty, eh Solomon?

God's anger gets into the red and He appears to Solomon for a third time and tells him that He is going to rip the kingdom from out of his hands...all except one tribe.  He does grant the king a mild reprieve.  He promises not to take it from Solomon but from his son.  And that reprieve, the one tribe and after Solomon's death, is not because of Solomon's riches, not because of Solomon's deeds, certainly not because of Solomon's fame and renown, not because of Solomon's wisdom (which has clearly failed him at this point I'd say...willfully), and not because he built the LORD a temple...  It's because of Solomon's DAD.  It's because of the deeds, the heart, and the passion David had for the things of the LORD.  Sure David messed up, sure he had a man killed so he could get the guys wife, but every time conviction came aknocking he proved he was still that shepherd boy on the hillside singing songs to the LORD when no one else could hear.  And that, not the glorious temple precious to so many, was what earned Solomon a minor reprieve from outright destruction of him and all that would come after and screw up the Davidic dynasty again...and again...and again...

The application is pretty clear.  He doesn't care about who you are, what degrees you have, what you've done or have committed to doing for Him.  He isn't impressed with how eloquent your prayers are, if you're going to the "right" denomination's church or not, or how many Charles Spurgeon books you've read.  He doesn't even love you for what you could do for Him.  He wants what He's always wanted from the very beginning...your heart.  He wants you to listen for Him, talk to Him, walk in the ways He has set out for you.  When He says "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength," it's about relationship and experiencing life with Him and through Him.  There are a lot of things that we do in response, but at the Separation of the Sheep and Goats He says to those trying to impress Him with the deeds and wonders, "I never knew you."  You can't do enough because He didn't set it up that way, with things to be done to earn His affection; temples to build, churches to franchise, or nations to convert.

From the dedication of the temple to the words of Jesus it reveals the same heart of the same God.  "Walk with me.  Listen to my knock.  Invite me in and I will eat with you."

Such a God unlike any other.

No wonder we call Him "Holy".

Pax,

W

The Hardest Scripture You'll Ever Read

This morning my spiritual mentor and I were chatting.  I was pontificating (like I do...and like you don't have to be a pontiff to do) on a few things and that's when she dropped Matthew 7:22 and further on me.  The separation of the sheep and the goats is what it gets expanded out to elsewhere.

The context of our original conversation isn't important but suffice to say that we were talking about the parts of the Bible that Christians tend to want to ignore.  Like...Sin.  We have to be honest and say that American Christianity overall hates sin and not in the way God hates sin.  What I mean to say is that we hate talking about it, preaching about it, admitting it exists, and especially hate admitting that it even exists within our selves.  But, what is the power of the Gospel at all if we don't fully recognize that we are a fallen creature who has done this to themselves, continues to do it to themselves, and justifies it almost as much as we poo poo it in our own circles.  "You disrespected your spouse?  Oh, honey/dude everybody does that.  It's no big deal.  Heck, I did it four times on my way over here.  Now, if you cheated that would be totally different."  Uh...actually it's not except by our own fallen creature standards.  But if I continue down this route I'll be putting the miter back on my cabeza and get all pontiff on a subject I've already established it's not crucial for the sake of this post to illuminate.  #MaybeTooLate

I'm going to come right out and say what I may have already stated in previous episodes... Matthew 7:22 and following scares me.  It scares me right out of a dead sleep some nights.  Why?  Because it's Jesus talking.  It being Jesus talking mean's it's GOD talking and what GOD is saying we have zero right or ability to worm our way around.  It's foundational which means it's been true since the foundation of the world, in a land before time (not a kid's movie reference, thank you) whether we want to admit it or not.

There are a lot of things that can and have been said about what the sheep and the goat separation, mostly regarding what it "doesn't" mean.  Often focusing on what it "doesn't" mean leads us to not pay attention to what it "does" say (Thank You, Alistair Begg) and that is a road that leads to ruin.

So, as I believe the LORD tells me from time to time, buckle up, buttercup.  This is going to get rough.  You're not going to like it.  I don't even like it.  But most things that heal us are not likeable...potent medicine, resetting bones, the application of tourniquets, cancer surgery...none of these are holiday options.  So, lets take this line by line instead of scanning through.

"Many will say to me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name and in your name drive out demons and in your name perform many miracles?'" vs 22

Now here's the thing that pushed this blog post.  It's a little thing.  It's that first word.  It's one of the scariest words in the whole of the scriptures because of its context.

Many.

It brings me absolutely not comfort and it shouldn't bring you any comfort either.  Jesus isn't saying that a few, some, a goodly amount, but MANY are going to say to Him on the day of judgement, "but...but...but...we did stuff!"

These are people who clearly recognize Jesus as "Lord" and have dedicated themselves in some way to Him and His service.  Barney down on the beach doesn't just prophesy for Jesus in between whiling his time away praying to Buddha and meditating on the Sutras.  These "many" are for the home team.  These are people swinging and fielding for Jesus, progressing to the point where they are actually prophesying, actually doing miracles, driving out DEMONS in His name, with His authority and His power.  They call Him the Lord of their lives.  Given this resume is it a huge leap to believe that they may have written books, taught Bible studies, headed up churches?  Preached in arenas?

This is heavy.  The very definition of heavy.  These individuals believe they are Christians, believe they are saved, believe they are on His good side.  They expected to be greeted with open arms and told, "Well done, good and faithful servant" or they wouldn't be protesting, they wouldn't be pleading their case before the judge of the living and the dead, the righteous and the wicked.

The message is compacted in the way only Jesus could, "Hey...this could be you.  Look out.  Don't make excuses.  Don't tell me what I'm not saying.  This is the deal.  Guard your heart.  Know your motivations.  Make sure what is meant to be first is first in your life, and don't screw around with matters of your soul."  We see this in His response.

"I never knew you.  Away from me, you evildoers!" v23 b

I.  Never. Knew you.

That's some cold words from someone everyone sees as loving, forgiving, and all embracing.  That condemns them to Hell and that doesn't even come close to the depiction of Jesus as just a "good teacher" that the World and some in the Church want to think of Him as.  There's going to come a time when He is going to tell people that the miracles they performed, the demons they drove out, and the prophesies they spoke count for nothing.

Do you know Him?  Seriously, there is a vast difference between knowing about someone and knowing someone.  I could read about Winston Churchill, I can read his own words, but I could never say that I know him only that I know about him.  I can feel like I know him, to be sure, but that's not the same as knowing him.  Interestingly the Greek word for "know" here (ginosko) is the same Greek word used for the Jewish idiom for "knowing" someone...sex.  The suggestion is a deep deep intimacy with Him.  "I never knew you" isn't him saying they didn't show up to church or pray.  It's not a casual acquaintance "know" and in my life that's the level I used to be at with Him.

My encouragement, meager as it may be, is this: Don't take this lightly.  And by "this" I mean knowing Him.  We can do all the great and mighty works of God and still not know Him.  I venture to say that we can even feed the poor, clothe the naked, and visit the sick and it still wouldn't count if we did not deeply intimately know Him.

Knowing you and being known by you is very high on God's list of things He wants.  There are many out there who say that you can't experience God and my response is now and always, "Then WHY does He tell us to?"  "Taste and See", "If I answer the door I will come in to him and sup with him", and I could go on and on.  Knowing about Him isn't enough, and He says it right there in Matthew.  Stop being consumed by the distractions of the world though they call to you, though you are addicted to them, though they make you so blissfully happy (and you already know which ones I'm talking about) because they are distracting you from REAL LIFE.  And by REAL LIFE I mean HIM, because He says "I am the way, the truth and the life".  He's not just A way or A truth.  We say that all the time leaving off there and betraying our hearts.  He is not A life.  He is THE life.  He is by His very own definition REAL LIFE.  And that's heavy because I didn't realize that until right now so I'm going to pause, close the Facebook window in the background and let that sink in.
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Wow.  I've still not fully absorbed that.

It's a massive alteration which takes time. Though I'm sure my beloved Pastor is thinking, "BOOM!  Yes!  Got one!" because he's been trying to teach that to his congregation for YEARS and I thought I had it before, but now my vision cracked just a little bit and all that light is pouring through causing a kind of spiritual pupil constriction making me shield my spirit peepers and utter a full on Neo from the Matrix, "Woah..."  It'll be a while before I can utter, "I know Kung Fu..." on this one to which I'm sure my mentor will pull the Morpheus response of a skeptical appraising look followed by the line, "Show me."

The point, in so much as I can full articulate one, is to stop your distractions.  Focus on what connects to Him.  He says that this very act has eternal consequences.  We nod our heads along when someone quotes "...and there is no life apart from Him..." then get in our SUVs, turn on the game of the week, while playing games on our phones sitting next to our loved ones who are doing the same, and we say "Where's God?"  Clear the field.  Seek Him and you will find Him.  How do I know?  No other reason than because He says so and He is not a man that He should lie.

Pax,

Will

Thomas, known as The Doubter...

Over the Easter holiday one of my greatest spiritual pet peeves came to the forefront.  Amidst all of the "He has risen"s and reflexive "He is risen indeed!"s, while Christians spoke of the joys of the resurrected life, and how wondrous the actual event must be, there was, as always, the maligning of a particular disciple of Jesus.

Thomas.  Thomas the doubter.  Doubting Thomas.

I mean, look at him over there, sulking in a corner, testy whenever anyone brings up the rumored resurrection.  Silly Thomas.  Puny in Faith Thomas.  What kind of disciple is he going to grow up to be if he can't even believe in the resurrection after the crucifixion.  If he'd just get that big brain out of the way he could experience so much joy.  Why was he one of the Twelve again if he wasn't going to believe in miraculous things?  I may not be a spiritual giant, but I'm sure no Doubting Thomas, amiright?

If you've spent some time with me over the course of this blog then you know that I have more than a little respect for Thomas the Apostle.  Though I am of a protestant bent, I claim him as my "patron saint".  Traditionally he is the patron saint of architects and an eastern country that we'll name in a bit.  He died on December 21st, in the year 72.

In my original version of this post I went down a list of the three times Thomas speaks up in the Gospel of John.  It was actually quite an academic approach...which is probably why I scrapped it.  I'm not much for the academic form and process.  I'm a story teller.  So lets skip the bits that set up my point that Thomas was the one guy in the room who was going to say what everyone was thinking.  You can find them.  Let's skip the bits that establish my point that of all the apostles he was probably the most intellectually honest.  You can do your own homework.  You're smart enough.  Let's skip that and get to the bit of the story that actually earned Thomas the title and made it an insult or at least a disparaging term among both Christians and non-Christians alike.

The week had been a big one so far.  From the triumphal entry, to the Last Supper, to the garden arrest, to the crucifixion, it was a lot to take in and process.  Imagine walking into Jerusalem, the Holy City where God met with the High Priest in the Holy Temple, with the crowds cheering for your teacher.  You couldn't help but get excited about what might be coming next.  The largest city in all of Israel, the capital, and you suddenly realize that your teacher and your fellow disciples apparently have the will of the people on your side.  Everyone is shouting for joy to God...well, everyone but the pharisees and saducees but you're not sure the last time you actually saw any of them do anything but scowl and murmur together trying to cook up some sort of trick question for your teacher.  The atmosphere would have been electric.  Anything could happen, even the overthrow of the pagan Roman occupiers.

Jesus routs the money changers and merchants from out of the temple.  Now the Roman's aren't the only ones who are going to get it in the new kingdom, so to is the corrupted Jewish system.  A full cleansing of Israel seems eminent.

The upper room is filled with candle light, Your teacher disrobes, grabs a towel and a basin, and begins to watch each of his student's feet.  It is a crazy juxtaposition, a upside down sense of duty and honor, so much so that it is not surprising that Peter initially refuses to allow it.  The master is above the servant, the teacher worthy of more honor above the student.  To Jesus it is the foundation of His Kingdom, He says, just how things are and work.  Later Jesus describes the inevitability of His death.  He has been on about his death for ages, but many of his students disregard it as crazy talk.  How can a King establish a Kingdom by dying?  It must be somewhere later down the road, or perhaps it's a symbolic death.  Kingdoms are upturned, and thrones usurped by a King's death, not established.

Then Judas is called out as a betrayer.  The teacher doesn't even act angry about the fact of his betrayal.  He even bids the man to go and do it rather than stop him.  But the meal continues.

In the garden is where the dream begins to die.  Heavily armed guards arrest the teacher, they take Him to where He is beaten and fraudulently accused of things He never did.  Fist shaped bruises blossom on His cheek, a white pair to teeth lay on the floor, their roots crimson against the dirt.  From there the teacher is taken from official to official, beaten by one, mocked by another, and that's when you begin to feel a creeping sense of dread.  First it was shock, now it has turned sour in your stomach.  The air is thick with it.  Days ago your ears shuddered at the sound of praises, more thunderously the people cry their curses.  The people are shouting for the innocent teacher's life to be sacrificed on the cross in the place of a murderous man.  It was a shock to hear that Peter denied the teacher, but now denial seems to be an option as your survival instinct kicks in, as the crowd turn uglier than you've ever seen it.  He is condemned to death.  In the minds of the people it is for insurrection and/or blasphemy.  It never fares much better for known associates of the condemned when it comes to insurrection, and you would be marked for life for blasphemy.

At the foot of the cross you hear the people mock Him.  They question why, if He is so holy and the Son of God, He doesn't just pull Himself off the cross.  You can't help but wonder that as well as you mourn what you are seeing.  You put all your proverbial chips on this number.  You saw miracles, healings, exorcisms, and now this?  Why wouldn't He be able to.  He dies, gives up His last breath.  The sky goes dark, a great earthquake hits and you thank God for the confusion as fear gives way to panic and you slip away.

They mourned for days, all together in one place.  Thomas wasn't immune to it.  The dream was over, whatever dream each disciple had in their hearts.  They were afraid, confused, and each of them questioning God I have no doubt.  They were being hunted by the Romans already, the rumor being that they wanted to make sure the Disciples didn't try and rob the grave.  The land was in a full blown panic over the teacher's death and the following signs.  The temple veil was torn as if by an invisible hand.  People walked out of their graves full of life again.  What did it all mean?  The temple veil was particularly troubling.  Rumors of all kinds flew.  Every hour someone brought them news.  In the morning was when the women returned to them telling them the tomb was empty, and there was an angel.  John and Peter took off like a shot to the tomb while the rest remained fretting and wondering what it could mean.  Was it the Romans?  The Temple Guard under the orders of the High Priest to cast shame and suspicion upon them?  John and Peter return with the same story.  The stone was rolled away, the cloths folded neatly.  One by one they begin to assume.  But not Thomas.

He wants it to be true, but no.  He wishes it could be true.  Jesus had raised the dead before, but...

"Thomas, come on, He said it Himself.  In three days He would rebuild,"

"I know what He said.  I was there.  He said the Temple."

"Then you know it's possible.  The body is a temple."

"There are a hundred things that are possible.  We don't know what happened.  The women didn't see, Peter and John didn't see what happened.  We don't know."

"Why won't you entertain it at least?"

"I do!  In my heart I want it to be true, but I can't say that it is true when I don't know it to be true."

"Come on, Thomas.  Just believe.  You're just sore because we saw Him and you didn't."

"No!" he chokes on his tears.  "I won't.  I won't believe until I touch the holes in his hands and put my hand in his side."

What picture do you have when you read the scene as Jesus appears in the room and invites Thomas to touch, and put his hand in the Lord's side?  Does Thomas just walk up dispassionately, objectively, and examines the wounds?  Does he ashamedly just ascent intellectually with a nod toward Jesus?

In my mind he is filled with holy fear as every possibility and impossibility coalesces into one reality for him.  His hear leaps into his throat as Jesus stands open armed welcoming his examination.  Jesus nods for him to go ahead and shaking Thomas makes the the rounds from hand, to hand, to His side.

A remarkable thing happens to Thomas.  Peter declared that Jesus was the Son of God.  Thomas, however, dropped to his knees and said, "My Lord and my God".  That's huge.  A Jewish man declared that Jesus was Lord and God...one and the same...the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob there before him.  It is easy to assume that he was "late to the party" with this realization, but there is no indication that anyone else had made that connection.

Further remarkable things happen to Thomas.  This "lesser disciple", as some treat him, went farther with the Gospel than any other.  This doubter took the largest leap of faith, leaving behind culture, language, civilization, and every point of familiarity to follow the spirit's leading to India where he established at least 15 churches and what would become "the Oriental Orthodox Church".  I can only imagine the shock it must have been for the English missionaries to come and find people who already knew the Gospel as a result of already being "Saint Thomas Christians".

In my mind Thomas was a man who was extremely honest about himself and what he believed.  I think his "doubt" was very much that of a grieving man who wanted to believe, but whose heart was broken.  He wasn't going to admit what he had not seen and experienced.  Perhaps it is a bit of pride in me, but I believe he and I would get along very well, kindred spirits cut from the same cloth, constantly assessing, reassessing, and questioning what we think we know in order to be sure we are grounded in the Truth.  There is no shame in that, not character flaw to be mocked.  Perhaps others are more blessed because they believe immediately.  Peter may have been the "Rock", but given how far Thomas went and what he achieved I'd say he was certainly "sure footed".

Pax,

P

Easter Morning

Good morning all!  Welcome to Resurrection Sunday!  The most unlikely/unbelievable/marvelous/shocking bit of the entire story.

As is tradition around here, I am sharing the single most appropriate song I have ever heard for the season.  It's by a little known Christian band called Raspberry Jam.  Given the title "Easter" it begins with a celebratory reading of an Easter poem, and then the chorus refrains "Easter is for me and my plank-eyed soul".

I am not sure I've ever had a lyric impact my life as much as that one.  Someday I might be able to explain the reason better than I could right now.

Enjoy.

On Lent: Ungrateful on Good Friday

One of the amazing things about the Bible is that if you read it long enough, eventually you will see yourself.  It's not like the "Iliad" or the "Odyssey" where you will see great heroes you want to be like, a goal to aspire to.  No.  In the Bible you'll see yourself warts and all.

Maybe you recognize yourself in Peter's bull in a china closet sort of brash loyalty and good intentions.  Perhaps it is in Thomas' doubt.  For some, and I feel echoes of this in my soul as well, it is in the father's desperate cry for his child to be healed where he declares, "I believe!" and then follows it up with equally desperate honest with, "Help my unbelief".  I wish that I saw myself in Lazarus' sister Mary who happily sits at the master's feet.

Unfortunately I most clearly find myself in the parable of the ungrateful servant.  I reference it regularly in both real life and blog posts.  Man owes the king say $500,000.  He begs and pleads for forgiveness.  King wipes the debt clean.  Man sees a fellow servant who owes him $10 and he drags him to court to get him thrown into prison.  King takes the first man, condemns him for not being grateful and showing the same kind of forgiveness the king showed him to someone who owed way less, weeping, gnashing of teeth, etc ensues.  As a result, in my personal Lent reflections I've been focused on gratitude.

I'm not one of those people who was saved from a life of prostitution, drugs, etc.  I am an average joe who grew up in the church, fell away for a bit but nothing major, and came back.  I'm kind of a super minor prodigal son.  So many people are impressed by those testimonies of being saved from massive darkness, they praise God and rejoice that someone was once saved from so much.  I remember many times, hearing those testimonies and actually feeling somehow inadequate.  Of course, that comes from a basic misunderstanding of the situation.  If you asked those individuals with the Super Testimonies (tm) they'd be the first to tell you that they wish they had my testimony rather than walk through a personal hell.

I've mentioned it before, but the most massive revelation of the past year in my spiritual walk has been from Dr. Charles Stanley, who once said that God didn't send Jesus to save us from what we've done, the sins we've committed.  God sent Jesus to save us from what we are.

We'd like to believe that we need Jesus because we at one or many points in time committed this sin, that sin, and violated the laws of God.  Those sins are just the symptom, and a good physician never just treats the symptom.  At our core, because of Adam and Eve's transgression in the Garden, we were fundamentally altered.  That act made it so that we weren't just capable of sin, but we would inevitably sin.  It is in our heart, our nature, our spiritual DNA.  It doesn't excuse us, of course, but that is why we need God, need Jesus, need His Holy Spirit, because we are incapable.  To say that the sins we commit are the problem is like saying that someone riddled with cancer's problem is the dramatic weight loss, hair falling out, blood in the stool, and lack of appetite.  No.  It's the faulty cells inside the body that are replicating the DNA incorrectly.  If it was just our actions then we wouldn't need to be conformed to the image/mind of Jesus.  We'd just need to be conformed to His actions, and the Pharisees, as much crap as we tend to talk about them, were already doing that.  Their externals were white, the internals full of rotting flesh and dead men's bones.

That is where I find myself struggling most of the time.  It isn't my externals that need altering, although there are things that are beneficial to do and not do.  The issue is now and forever my internals...and that, without Jesus, is impossible to alter.  I say I struggle, but really it has lately been more surrender.  "I believe; Help my unbelief" resounds through my soul at the same frequent desperation as Brother Lawrence's "If You do not change me, how can I do otherwise?".

It is a hard fact that you can do nothing about it.  It is a hard fact that you can do nothing about it.

I was watching my kids the other day.  My daughter has been having a rough time of it lately.  She's at some sort of snotty "tween" stage that just grates on my nerves.  It's too early for her to be acting like I'm as much of an idiot as she thinks I am.  If any other adult tells her something it is like some enlightened revelation, but if I tell her she scoffs and does it her own way.  She isn't showing much respect for me or her mother and I refuse to let her treat us like that.

The thing that keeps grinding my gears is how ungrateful she is.  I mean, honestly, never mind that we gave her life, but there is the food, lodging, clothing, tv, computer, education, vacations, etc.  We give her so much and she snots me off?  Treats me like I'm an idiot when I show her how to do something?  Tell her how best to go about her life?  I mean, I'm only 38 and she's 9.  How much more life experience do I have?  Psht...

And that's when I heard some sort of deep, bass level, spiritual bell ding in my soul.  Jesus is so faithful at ringing that thing.  My perspective shifted.  I heard Him clear His throat and I saw my own inconsistency, my own lack of gratitude, my own insistence that God is an idiot (though I never phrase it that way when I'm about to do the thing), my own snottiness.

I felt guilty.  I felt condemnation.  I felt gutted by my own behavior.

Normally I would have wallowed in all of that, slipped into a spiritual depression (it's comfy there...), and been all "Woe is me", for a few days.  I stepped a toe in there and then felt something different than my usual penitent slump.  It was so weird.  I felt loved.  It was like He came up behind me, turned my face away from my actions and just hugged me, loved on me for a while.  I didn't have to feel horrible.  And the reason why is hard to explain, but I'll try through the medium of my parent child relationship.

My daughter we always be ungrateful on some level, because she can't know all that we have done for her.  She can't know how Papa has struggled to teach her, how much Papa has prayed, and cried, and changed himself to be better for her.  She can't know how much time and Papa has spent just doing the laundry, dishes, bathroom scrubbing, floor scrubbing, cooking, etc all for her.  There is no way for her to comprehend how much her Mama works and struggles to provide good things for her.  Even when she has her own children and does the same for them she will only have an inkling of an idea because we'll be 20 years ahead.

We are ungrateful and always be ungrateful on some level because of the magnitude of what Jesus has done for us, for what the Father has done for us, and what the Holy Spirit has done for us.  He has spent many thousands of years from the foundation of the Earth and untold years before the foundation of the Earth doing for us.  When I think of that I get the same feeling I imagine I would have scuba diving and a blue whale swam up next to me.  Fear.  Not a fear for my life, but that natural fear and respect for something so massive we barely register on it's scale.  It is just so huge.  We can't comprehend it now and I doubt we'll be able to comprehend it on the other side, not fully.

He deserves so much more gratitude, so much more praise, so much more of my life because of what He has done.  And every time I meditate on that I feel something like Him replying with a smile, "I know.  Hey, let's go for a walk."

From the Garden, to Enoch, to us...His desire hasn't much changed, has it?

Pax,

W

On Lent: Palm Sunday

It has been an interesting past few days here, going though Lent.  In many ways I feel like this is the week I've been waiting for, and not because Resurrection Sunday comes and I'll be able to have sugar.  On the contrary, in these final few days the personal spiritual revelations have started coming that I expected.  There is a certain maturity that comes in giving up something you hold dear, something that controls you or at least moves you.  One or two weeks without that thing is a fad or a lark.  The third week tests your resolve.  The fourth week tests your reasons, and if you get beyond that there really is quite something to be learned about yourself.

I'm starting to see the Sunday School haze fall away from my eyes more rapidly.  Like many I grew up attending Sunday School in the morning and then Children's Church after worship service.  Now, I respect the people who do such things and make those programs available.  I don't mean to criticize them, but things get lost in the translation.  Whether it was my wholly owned ignorance that is being exposed to the light of day or their desire to make good "behavioral lessons" out of common Bible tales I'm not certain.

For instance, it just occurred to me today that Luke, the doctor and gospel writer, wasn't one of the 12 Disciples.  For that matter fellow gospel writer Mark wasn't either.  Luke was likely Greek, never met the Lord in person and began as a pupil of Paul.  Odds are he was a gentile.  Mark, it is believed, was one of the outer disciples and tradition holds that he was one who departed when Jesus declared that in order to follow Him one had to drink of his blood and eat of his flesh.  Superficial, some of the most learned among my readership might suppose, but it alters how one sees the things in front of him.  The words and impact of their gospels are still the same, there's just a little something different in the perception.

This last week I was reading in Luke where Jesus tells about the wise man who built his house upon the rock an the foolish man who built his house upon the sand (Luke 6:48).  And the rains came down, and the floods came up, (you may be singing along now...) and the foolish man's house went SPLAT!  When we were little we knew that song was about Christians and Non-Christians.  Oh, look at those foolish non-Christians building there lives on hedonism, humanism, evolution.  It's only on the rock of Jesus and his principals, doing things his way, that we can expect to live stable, secure lives.

I grew up, went to college, started a family and for a long time it was very rare that I ever felt stable and secure.  Heck, I didn't even know anyone who said they felt stable and secure.  So, the old wise man foolish man parable must be wrong, right?  I'm a Christian, this shouldn't be how I feel, right?  I said the prayer, I did the getting dunked in water thing.  So how can I feel this way?

There are whole sections in Christian book stores about how to feel good about yourself, how you're a winner and an overcomer, how you should just change your perception and you'll have self esteem just because you did the prayer and the water dunky thingy.  I've always had a natural aversion to those sort of books because they feel...sickeningly sweet, like drinking soda syrup straight.  (What?  Oh, like I'm the only one who has ever...OK...maybe I am...snorted pixie sticks?  Anyone?)  I can't take the perma-grins of the authors on the cover, their wide mouthed, way too reassuring smiles highlighted with unnaturally white teeth. (If you hear laughter as you read that part it's probably my sister.  She knows exactly who I'm talking about there).  The whole thing of "think positive, that's all you need" has always seemed counter-intuitive to the gospel...and now I know why...well...OK...I have a better understanding.

The wise man and foolish man of Luke's 6th chapter has nothing to do with non-believers, but rather everything to do with believers.  Look at verse 46 : "Why do you call Me, 'Lord, Lord," and do not do what I say?..." and then He launches in to the parable.  It is those who call Him, "Lord, Lord,", those who proclaim Him as their teacher or, more appropriately, Master (according to the Greek) and yet don't do what He says to do.  That would be like me learning under chef's in culinary school, telling everyone how proud I am to be learning under them, attending daily classes, then decide I know better than them how to make a souffle, and just start guessing at what goes in it.  What's going to happen?  It might be barely edible but it's not a souffle.  Why call him Lord, Lord if you aren't going to do things as he says to do them?  Why waste the time if you aren't going to follow him and make up your own life recipe?

Now, I can't and won't judge you, but I'm more than happy to judge myself.

Until about a year ago I was doing the same thing.  Well, that's not completely accurate.  It is probably best to say that I have spent the past six years going through a process that has gradually brought me more in line with Jesus as my true Master that became very obvious within the past year or so.

In the past year I've gone on a self induced/guided journey through the New Testament chapter by chapter wondering what the "commandments" of the New Testament are.  I know the word "commandments" freaks us people of God's Grace out a bit, but they are actually there.  "Do this.  Don't do this," can be found in every book of the New Testament and yet we ignore them.  Let's just take this classic, "Let there be no divisions among you," from twice in 1 Corinthians.  In our modern times many people find identity in their divisions with other denominations.  "But, come on, that's Paul.  That's his opinion."  Jesus' words are even harder, "Be anxious for nothing,".  That's it.  Don't do it.  What is the antidote?  Prayer.  Making your requests known to God.

So, long story short, I started to do the things Jesus and the Apostles said to do.  Then, and only then, was when I started to feel peace and stability.  When I reject divisions among the Body of Christ then it follows that chaos within my life at church will be minimized.  When I squash pride and foolish talk (yes, the last one is an eternal work in progress) then my relationships are protected and enhanced.  When I refuse to be anxious about something and instead give it to the Lord and leave it there, naturally I will have peace.  When I choose to study His word and be in regular contact through prayer then, surprise, I feel not only stability but His presence.

This morning I got all dressed up to attend my church's Palm Sunday service.  It was a little bittersweet in a few ways.  I wore one of my Hawaiian style button up shirts to the service because that's about as dressy as I get.  The church doesn't quite feel like home yet.  I was reminded of this because I know if I was at my home church more than one, at the VERY least the pastor, would have commented on how appropriate my shirt was because..ya know...Palm Sunday, palm trees on the shirt.

For the entire season of Lent the question that the Reverend has been asking as our theme is: "What does it mean to be a faithful follower of Jesus Christ?"  I find that I'm not alone in my preference of over-intellectualizing that question.  When it comes down to it, it is not calling Him "Lord, Lord".  It is all to do with doing the things He tells us to do...even if it means loving your enemies...which...I'm glad I get along with a lot of people because that one's rough.

Pax,

W

First Principles: There is No Enemy

I've decided that among other things I should enumerate my core beliefs or "first principles" for anyone who cares to read this blog.
Now, I have to explain a few things first.  These first principles are beyond the basic tenets of my faith.  My first principles are not completely unchangeable.  They are just very unlikely to be changed.  My unchangeable principles cannot be violated.
Those Immutable Principles are the following: 1) There is a God.  2) He is the God of the Bible 3) the Bible is His holy and infallible word and 4) He sent his son Jesus who died as payment for the sins of those who believe, rose again and sits at the right hand of the Father 5) God is triune, three in one.
Now, beyond those things we can argue.  Arguing first principles won't get you very far but it is a possibility...though extremely remote.  These First Principles are not in any particular order of importance.

There is no enemy.

Notice that I do not use a capital "e" for enemy.  Non-Christians will be confused as to why this might be important, whereas fellow Christians will mark it quickly.  I'll get into that in a bit because I think the Enemy is not at as important as some do.

There is no enemy.

This First Principle came into my awareness through a Guy Ritchie movie called Revolver which I can't whole heartedly recommend to anyone.  There's sex, violence, drug use, and the like that comes along with the gangster subject matter.
I did find it to be quite interesting on a spiritual and philosophical level.  It comes from the period in Guy Ritchie's life where he had begun to be interested in Kabbalah, Jewish mysticism.  The story follows a newly released gangster named Jake who wants revenge on the man who put him in jail for so many years.  He falls into debt with an unconventional pair of loan sharks who seem less interested in getting Jake back on his feet and more interested in rehabilitating his very soul.  They tell him that if he wants the money he has to preform some strange acts, each of which is designed to be a blow to his ego even going so far as to ask forgiveness from the man who put him in jail.  The final scenes where Jake does this are amazing to watch as just the simple act of submission, asking forgiveness almost makes the mob boss go insane because the concept is so foreign.

Central to the movie is something the loan sharks tell Jake.  "There is no enemy".  They leave it at that and give Jake time to chew on it.  More specifically, there is no enemy...outside of ourselves.

As we make our way through life we can't help but notice that there are people who like us and people who don't.  There are people who work for or with us and we think there are those who are actively working against us.  Somehow we find ourselves so arrogant as to believe this or that person is our nemesis, our roadblock to success or peace and self-harmony.  The truth is, barring the occasional psychotic individual who would fixate like that, they aren't our enemy.  Our own ego manifests and interprets what that person does as being adversarial.  We have this innate desire to be the hero of our own story and every hero requires a villain.  There is a voice in our head that is all to happy to provide one.  An individual's ego is a potent force that warps the perception of the world.  Once we see that the enemy we perceive is actually a mirror we hold up to ourselves, the world changes.  That voice, that ego, is the greatest con artist in the world.  It could lead a man to destroy everything that is good in his life.  It spends so much of our lives, this other voice, trying to convince you that it IS you.  But it's not.

As Jake says at his moment of realization:
"There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning, the only reason you suffer the (crappy) boss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. "Fear or revere me, but please think I'm special." We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The "hip, hip, hoo-rah." Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on, you crazy diamond. Cos we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others"

Once we can let go of that addiction, that approval of others, then we can begin the hard work of figuring out our faith.  Pride and ego are the twin forces that will kill you spiritually every time.  And where do they live?  Inside every one of us.  I was asked a couple times by the pastor at my last church to give a sermon.  The first time it was OK.  Afterwards people shook my hand, slapped my back, and told me I did a good job.  I was fairly uncomfortable but chalked it up to my typical low level social anxiety.  It wasn't until my pastor critiqued it honestly and fairly that I started to feel better.  The second time I think maybe two people told me I did a great job and I felt pride and ego ganging up on me in my head.  You know what I did?  Dishes.  I found something dirty, inconvenient, and away from the praise of others...and I was better for it.  

Now, back to the Enemy with a capital "e".  

Do I believe in Satan/Lucifer and all his demons as literal beings with literal powers and sway on this planet?  Yes.  I absolutely do.  Do I believe there's a demon in every corner or whispering in an alcoholic's ear?  That part I'm not entirely sure on, and I lean more towards "no" the older I get.  This may frustrate my hardcore Christian brothers and sisters, but I'll say this;  Given the natural state of humanity since the fall, I'm not sure that they need to do much at all.  Satan was right there in the Garden of Eden to push Eve and Adam to eat of the fruit, but he's nowhere to be seen, scripturally, when Cain kills Able.  Yes, God warns Cain that "sin is crouching at you door" but not Lucifer.  He says "you must master it".  It's something within him that Cain can control.  When Lucifer and/or his demons shows up I fully believe things would feel different.  What's the first thing that angels say when they show up?  "Don't be afraid".  I can only assume that is because people have an innate fear of something larger than themselves.  In my thinking the situation has to have a quantifiable difference beyond my everyday struggles.

The Hebrew word for Satan literally translates to "adversary".  Pharaoh of was Moses' "satan".  Goliath was David's "satan".

For me, I don't need a Satan outside of myself in order to get into a lot of trouble.  The enemy, the ego, the adversary, the "satan" within is quite a handful on its own.  I don't spend a lot of time worrying about Lucifer and his demon buddies because I figure God has that one to sort out.  Besides, how effective would I be against the one without until I let Jesus deal thoroughly with the one within?

Pax,

W

A Bit of a Tid (On a Jealous God)

"A Bit of a Tid" = Just a tidbit on a given topic that I don't have too much to say on...yet.

This past Sunday our worship leader took a bit of time to talk about, of all things, Oprah.  I am not a huge fan of Oprah for many reasons, none of which I'll get into here.  Our worship leader brought up her remembrance of an episode of the show where Oprah revealed the moment she stopped believing in the Judeo-Christian God.  Apparently it happened when her pastor read the scripture to the congregation regarding God as a jealous God.  Right then and there Oprah stopped believing.  Why?  Because jealousy is such a petty human emotion and any god worth their salt can't have a petty human emotion.

First of all, I'm always bothered by this sort of behavior.  The Bible shows that God or his people don't meet the individuals expectations and they shut down...without ANY further inquiry.  I've seen it at least a hundred times.  "I like Jesus, but his fan club keep me away"...declares someone who self identifies as an atheist (In my personal dictionary Atheist is described as an agnostic with a grudge...but that's another topic for another day) or "Jesus didn't keep the sabbath so he can't be God let alone holy", or "How can a loving God allow..."  These "road blocks" are fairly foreign to me.  If something doesn't meet my expectations my first impulse is a minor "revulsion" followed by further inquiry to try and fully understand.  So when something minor causes someone to immediately eject the idea...it significantly perplexes me.

Secondly, as our worship leader went on to say, the kind of jealousy the Bible refers to is NOT a petty human emotion.  It's not the jealousy that I get when someone gets published before me, or when someone gets a PS4 that I've wanted forever.  That kind of jealousy is not warranted and meets no criteria for truly logical behavior.  I have no claim on that publishing agent.  I have no claim on that PS4, etc.  It is a purely emotional response.  Let's say that my wife who swore before both God and Men to be mine, to cling only to me through sickness, health, for richer or poorer, suddenly cheated on me and decided to leave me for another man.  Would anyone EVER say that my jealousy in that situation was petty or unwarranted?  Would anyone ever fault me for burning with jealousy?  No.  Everyone would say that it was completely understandable and expected.

This jealousy is the closest definition we can come to for Divine Jealousy.  If we have pledged our troth, our faith and loyalty, to Him then of course he would be jealous of that.  The relationship he calls us into is even deeper than a mortal marriage which only lasts until one partner dies.  If my wife flirts with another man I am within my right and compelled to jealousy.  How much more when we flirt with other far lesser idols that are daily in our lives.

This dovetailed quite nicely with our pastor's sermon on the supremacy of Jesus that tends to be missing in our lives...which pummeled me into the ground and I'm much the better for it.  That may be my next post soon.

Pax,

W